The faucet that kicked my a**

In the past few years, I've thought of myself as not a bad plumber. Maybe not a good plumber, but not a bad one. Give me some barbed fittings, plastic flexible hose, and a few clamps and I could hold my own. In the five years we've had the boat I've replaced much of the existing hose, the head sink, and added a hot water heater. So, when the galley faucet started dripping last week, I offered to take on the project, and Scott happily agreed that it was a good idea.

I was actually glad the galley faucet finally created a reason to be replaced. It had a high spout, which is nice, but it also only barely reached over the sink. That's an odd flaw, since the one of the main jobs of a faucet is to direct water eventually down a drain. Every time (yes EVERY time) something was washed in that sink, as much water went behind the sink as in the sink.

I started in the same place I started when the head faucet needed replacing, the aisles of Home Depot. However, the great HD did not offer a suitable replacement. I went as far as to buy a regular bathroom faucet and bring it to the boat (since normal kitchen sink faucets don't use the 4"oc water supply posts). The new faucet looked odd and was quickly returned to Home Depot. I was thrilled to find an equally priced bar faucet from Overstock.com, and it arrived a short three days later. I opened the box, pleased.

As soon as I began the project, I remembered all the irritation of replacing the head faucet about four years ago. Nothing on this boat is accessible, especially the backs of sinks. I finally resorted to cutting the head faucet off with a hacksaw.

The galley faucet was equally unwilling release the adapter that connects a house faucet to boat flexible hose as the head faucet had been. We have better tools now, so this faucet got cut free with a Dremel. This would have been faster than the hacksaw, except the Dremel needs to be recharged frequently and does not have the oomph to cut through the upper sides of two supply lines (the only side we could reach) in a single charging. Still it was easier, as well as apparent that the evening project was now going to be a 2-day project.

Once the old faucet was off, the actual tightness of the undersides of the galley faucet became known. There is about a 2" space between the sink and the backside of the cabinet beneath the supply line posts coming down from the faucet. The adapters need to be screwed onto the posts, but there is no way to get a tool in there for assistance. So, by lack of any other option, it was merely hand tightened (by my weak hands). Not to mention that I thought I'd be smart and have the hose already attached to the adapter so I wouldn't need to mess with trying to tighten the hose clamps in the tiny space... except that the space is too tiny for the hose to spin around with the hose clamps already in place. So the clamps had to be loosened and pulled out of the way.

After hand tightening the adapter to the faucet-side supply lines as much as possible, the hose clamps were slid back up and tightened as much as possible with assistance from multiple different sized screwdrivers. Diverse curses and groans of varying pitches and amplification and a few cuts and band aids later, I re-pressurized the system, not actually confident that it would not leak. And leak it did. Cranking my head around, flashlight in sore hands, I could see the water coming from above the adapter.

Again, the adapter couldn't be tightened while the hose clamps were in place. So, off with the clamps, and while I was at it, off with the hose as well. No sense having that in my way. I mustered all the strength I could to get the cold water adapter off and replaced the Teflon tape, and screwed it back on again. The hot water I couldn't get back off, my arms and hands apparently having lost strength since connecting it hours earlier.

The next steps: Put the hoses back on, get the clamps back in place, turn the water back on, and try to identify where the drips are still coming from. Happily, it seemed the new drips came from above the hose, but not above the adapter. My additional cranking on it did some good, somehow. I hoped that tightening the two sets of clamps, screws opposite each other, may fix the drips. Except it didn't. Both hot and cold still let out a drip every few seconds. I've heard that over-tightening hose clamps can also cause a drip, since it can open up a gap near the flat screw area. But, given how difficult it was to get a screwdriver into the space, too tight seemed unlikely.

About 6 hours after starting that morning, I cried uncle. My arms hurt. My hands had been jammed by the screwdriver more times that I know. I called Scott back to the boat, saying I'd done my best, but the faucet had kicked my ass.

Being diplomatic, he tried to convince me that not all of my time that day had been a waste. I still can't see how that can be true, since the first thing he did was completely remove the entire thing and start anew. The best I can think I did was supply him with an actual example of how it would all look when it was put together again.

It was time for me to teach, and he had the project to himself. By the time I was finished, so was he, looking nearly as beaten back as I felt. But he'd gotten closer to the goal of a new faucet that does not drip below the sink. Closer to a non-dripping faucet connection isn't an acceptable final outcome, and it seems drips slowly continued to fall. With everything quite wet by this time though, it was hard to tell what was new water and what was old.

We put everything back under the sink, since there is no place to put that stuff while we wait for everything to dry. I made dinner, and afterward laughed at the habits I saw had been in place for containing the water in the sink during the process. At least the new faucet does what it is intended to do. It turns on; it turns off; it releases water over the cavity of the sink and not along the perimeter of it. That's something!

Tonight, or maybe tomorrow, we'll take everything out again for a close inspection of possible drips.

Scott has taken a more philosophical reflection of the day in his Late Entry post, The Rules. After reading it, I thought back to the day I replaced the head faucet. No, it wasn't a day. It was three, possibly four days. I'd cursed, I'd probably cried, I'd asked for help, and it was eventually in place. And for all the years since I've just used it, happy that it existed, forgetting the trouble that got it there.

Hopefully this new chrome will bring me as much worry-free use. And all shiny and new, it sure is pretty!

~Mandy